Test yourself for AIDS
Christopher Cisneros
Issue date: 2/16/09 Section: Opinions
People don't like talking about AIDS. I don't even like reading about it. But last Wednesday, I opened my Google News and was greeted by a news report about baseball great Roberto Alomar headlined: "Lawsuit Claims Former MLB Star Roberto Alomar Had Unprotected Sex While He Had AIDS." His ex-girlfriend is suing him, claiming punitive damages for emotional distress. She alleges that he did not know he had AIDS but had good reason to strongly suspect it, as his skin color was changing and he had various other health problems that led his doctors to advise him to get tested, advice he consistently refused. He insisted that they have unprotected sex with each other, and after assuring her that he was clean they did so, each time they had sex.
The first thing I think as I hear this story is this: don't ever have unprotected sex with someone if they haven't been tested since the last time they had sex. The sex isn't going to be so good that if you refuse it you're going to regret it for the rest of your life - the person is not so exciting that you have to bow to their demands. If you make a conscious decision to have unprotected sex with someone then you must live with any and all potential consequences. I can't figure out why anyone is willing to risk that. People need to be open with each other about sex when they have sex or plan on having sex.
There was another aspect to this story that really confused me. The woman claims that Alomar told her that he was raped by two Mexican men in New Mexico when he was 17-years-old, in 1985. I don't believe that he got HIV back then because, frankly, he would have died. The medicine just wasn't there then to save him ala Magic Johnson. How could a man who was allegedly raped refuse to get tested for the rest of his life? Why would people do that to themselves knowing full well that they might be ruining their lives and/or someone else's? The woman is clean of AIDS, fortunately for her, but she should have never put herself at such risk, and neither should you.
Author's note: Alomar's ex-girlfriend's allegations are simply that, allegations. I react to these as if they were true, which for the moment I assume that they are. It could very well be proven in court proceedings over the coming weeks that he did not have unprotected sex with her or that he does not have AIDS. If that is so, the message of this piece still stands. I don't think the woman's lawyers drew this up for fun, however.
The first thing I think as I hear this story is this: don't ever have unprotected sex with someone if they haven't been tested since the last time they had sex. The sex isn't going to be so good that if you refuse it you're going to regret it for the rest of your life - the person is not so exciting that you have to bow to their demands. If you make a conscious decision to have unprotected sex with someone then you must live with any and all potential consequences. I can't figure out why anyone is willing to risk that. People need to be open with each other about sex when they have sex or plan on having sex.
There was another aspect to this story that really confused me. The woman claims that Alomar told her that he was raped by two Mexican men in New Mexico when he was 17-years-old, in 1985. I don't believe that he got HIV back then because, frankly, he would have died. The medicine just wasn't there then to save him ala Magic Johnson. How could a man who was allegedly raped refuse to get tested for the rest of his life? Why would people do that to themselves knowing full well that they might be ruining their lives and/or someone else's? The woman is clean of AIDS, fortunately for her, but she should have never put herself at such risk, and neither should you.
Author's note: Alomar's ex-girlfriend's allegations are simply that, allegations. I react to these as if they were true, which for the moment I assume that they are. It could very well be proven in court proceedings over the coming weeks that he did not have unprotected sex with her or that he does not have AIDS. If that is so, the message of this piece still stands. I don't think the woman's lawyers drew this up for fun, however.
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